Growing up in a Hmong household, we didn’t always talk about money, but we learned about it in powerful ways.
We learned by watching:
- Watching our parents work hard for every dollar.
- Watching them stretch one paycheck to cover a family of eight.
- Watching them give to others, even when there wasn’t much left for themselves.
Whether we realize it or not, these early experiences created the money scripts we still carry today. And those scripts are still influencing how we save, spend, give, and even how we feel about money.
The good news? You have the power to recognize those old scripts and rewrite them to build a stronger financial future.
What Are Money Scripts?
Money scripts are the deep, often unconscious beliefs we form about money during childhood. They come from our families, our culture, and our life experiences. They helped us survive, but sometimes they can also hold us back as adults.
Some common money scripts include:
- “Money should always be saved, never enjoyed.”
- “Helping family comes before helping myself.”
- “Talking about money is shameful or disrespectful.”
- “If you’re not struggling, you’re not working hard enough.”
- “Spending money proves I’ve made it.”
- “Giving to others is how I show love, even if it hurts me.”
In many cultures, these beliefs are powerful because money isn’t just about you. It’s about your entire family and community. And while some of these beliefs are beautiful and worth keeping, others might be quietly limiting your growth.
How Your Upbringing Shaped Your Money Scripts
Some of these experiences might sound familiar:
1. Hard Work Was Survival
You saw your parents hustle every day just to make ends meet. Money didn’t come easy, and so you learned that success must be tied to struggle.
Action step: Ask yourself: “Do I believe I have to ‘earn’ rest or joy by working myself to exhaustion?”
2. Family First, Always
Contributing to family events, supporting elders, giving back; it’s woven into our values. But sometimes, it leads to putting others’ needs ahead of your own long-term security.
Action step: Ask: “Am I balancing taking care of my loved ones and myself?”
3. Money Talk Was Taboo
Money problems were handled quietly and privately, and maybe even secretly. As adults, this can make it hard to budget openly, ask for raises, or seek help with financial planning.
Action step: Challenge yourself: “How can I start one small, honest conversation about money this month?”
4. Spending to Show Success
Growing up seeing so much hardship, it’s natural to want to show that you’ve “made it.” Sometimes that can mean spending on nice things, hosting big celebrations, or living a lifestyle that signals success even if it strains your budget.
Action step: Reflect: “Am I spending to celebrate success or to prove my worth to others?”
5. Buying Love or Approval
For many of us, spending money on family or friends became a way to show love, loyalty, and connection. But sometimes, without realizing it, money becomes a tool to earn acceptance, leading to overspending or financial stress.
Action step: Reflect: “Am I using money to build genuine relationships or to earn acceptance?”
Why It Matters to Know Your Money Scripts
You are not stuck with the money beliefs you grew up with. Once you name your money scripts, you gain the power to choose whether to keep them, adjust them, or replace them.
Recognizing your money scripts helps you:
- Build on the strengths you inherited
- Let go of guilt or fear around money decisions
- Make financial choices that fit your life today, not just your past
Your parents and grandparents gave you so much through their sacrifices. Your job now is to build a life that honors their journey while making space for your dreams too.
How to Start Rewriting Your Money Scripts
Here’s a simple framework to get started:
- Notice:
What are your automatic thoughts when it comes to money? Pay attention to how you feel when you save, spend, invest, or give. - Name:
Identify the money scripts behind those thoughts.
Example: “I feel guilty buying something for myself because I believe money should only be used for needs, not wants.” - Challenge:
Is that belief true today? Is it helping you or hurting you? - Rewrite:
Create a new belief that fits your current life.
Example: “I can be responsible and still enjoy what I’ve worked hard for.”
Ready to Rewrite Your Money Story?
Sometimes it’s hard to spot your own money scripts or to know where to start when you want to make a change.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
If you want a fresh perspective on your money habits and support building a financial plan that feels true to you, I’d love to help.
Schedule a free Introductory Call with me to start talking about your goals, your money story, and the future you want to create. No pressure, just a real conversation.
This is for informational purposes only and is not financial advice. Please consult with a financial professional before making any financial decisions.
